we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
