it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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