dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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