Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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