I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
my phone needs a breathalizer
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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