ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
