Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
