How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
