it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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