i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drake has all the answers
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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