I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
