Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
