So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
