i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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