So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
