I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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