Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
