Non-Jews are for practice
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
