Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
