I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
