there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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