I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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