wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
