I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Acid is not a monday night drug
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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