Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Drunk is a universal language darling
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
