He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
