bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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