dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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