i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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