i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
