now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
