so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
