you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
