he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
