You can't special order awesome
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
