for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
