Joe is yelling at the trees again.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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