So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
