Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
