so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
