you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
