Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
