Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
