Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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