i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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