I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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