I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
