Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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