Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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