i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
