I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
