Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
